Your new rave wardrobe is hurting my eyesPosted by Veronica Kirby on 21 Aug 2007  at 10:00Â
Tags:Â colour, neon, bright, Lily Allen, New rave
On top of her annoyingly catchy plinky plonky songs, annoying dad, and false chav routes, that Lily Allen has got a lot to answer for. Yesterday, as I sploshed in the mud to watch her titter away about “al fresco†and “Tesco†during her set at the V festival, I noticed every one of her female
fans were wearing lurid coats, neon wellies and luminous rain hats.
As an accessory, to the crowd’s garish glow, Allen’s microphone was also the kind of bright yellow normally reserved for highlighter pens. Worse still, as the black clouds blocked out every inch of sunlight over the Chelmsford site, everything on this army of neon ladies seemed to glow even more – like those plastic stars students used to stick on their ceilings. It was nothing short of hideous. Like God had eaten waaaay too many Skittles and barfed up all over Essex.
Can somebody, please, please, please tell me all women aren’t going to be wearing these 1980’s felt-tip colours all autumn? It just doesn’t look flattering on anyone or anything. If you’re the shape of say a Beth Ditto from The Gossip, wear a luminous pink jacket and you look like a giant bouncy ball about to leap down the street on star in a Sony Bravia advert. Worse still, if you’re more of the stick like shape of Ms Lovefoxx of new ravers CSS, and you squeeze into some fluorescent tights, matching glowy top and sparkly mini skirt you look like you’re about to direct Jumbo Jets on the Heathrow runway. Or tarmac a motorway. Either way your luminous attire clashes with whatever we’re wearing… even black! It’s truly terrifying.
Â
All of this is enough to make me want to become a goth, or even an EMO, so I can hang around lady folk who’s trousers can’t be seen from over a mile away. At least you knew where you are with someone who’s wardrobe only consists of black, and extremely dark grey. And what’s more they don’t attract wasps, that you have to bat away from the lure of a neon green bra strap…
Random Posts
